Let’s just get right into it:
1. Aight, Aight, I’m an adult. I can totally handle this.
2. Actually… maybe I can’t.
3. OMG that’s the lady from Bates Motel! Does she only do horror movies? what’s her name again?
4. Why would you ever follow a kid into a creepy basement during a séance?
5. Oh, perfect. A demon nun trying to kill your husband… like every other scary movie
6. Who paints the creatures from their nightmares? – great painting tho…
7. Oh, a homemade Ouija board. Typical family pass time activity.
8. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
9. This kid is literally levitating. She’s not faking it! (Not an orgasm joke)
10. I actually just screamed in the theater. SOS, get me out of here
11. When the spirit tells you to leave, you f*king leave
12. You just learned that a guy died in that chair and you’re just going to keep it? – YARD SALE
13. So will there eventually going to be some kind of connection between this creepy nun and literally everything else that’s happening here?
14. Don’t follow the demon nun. Never follow the demon nun.
15. Literally I just hit myself in the face trying to cover my eyes before the jump scare… twice.
16. I’m getting chills… Not sure if the theater is too cold or I’m also being haunted.
17. If the house is so haunted that you have to cover a room in crosses and chain the door shut, maybe you should just move out?
18. I could totally do without all this mushy romance stuff. This is not what I signed up for.
19. How much of this is actually “based on a true story?” There’s no way this guy was really hanging out of a window while his wife out-bitched a demon.
20. That curtain could not hold 2 people’s weight with one little ring for that long. I call bullshit.
21. “I’m so lucky!” Girl, you just got possessed.
22. So the lady died in the same chair IRL 40 years later? 40 f*king years!?
23. Total count of times I hit myself in the face: 5
If you’re feeling brave, you can order Conjuring 2 on Blu-ray + Digital HD.